The Gap Between Self-Development and Social Media

Spoiler: The gap is you.

I started my own "journey" around 2019 by practicing daily gratitude, meditation, and observing my self talk. I didn't decide to go on a self-development journey, I just started trying new things that I thought would make me feel more at peace. In truth, I was sick of waking up angry and unhappy with my job and my overall surroundings. If anything had to change, it was me. I believed I could make my world better, so I began to reflect that through simple daily changes.

Since then, social media has held a lot of space for self-development to become normalized. A blessing and a curse. There are so many resources on social media to guide you towards a better you, but now that it's common to preach about self-improvement, there's a huge gap.

There are 3 things within social media's portrayal of self-improvement that create this gap.

It begins with wording, and most of what I am about to say is not intentional by influencers or professionals. This is why we have to recognize where we (you) come into play when we consume this type of content. 

The wording, self-improvement, already ruins it for me. It's a subconscious way of saying you are not good enough and you need to improve. And hey, that can be true to a degree, but it's not good for anyone trying to become more present. If you are actively thinking about ways you can improve, you may as well be taking 2 steps back using the term, self-improvement, because you are not accepting yourself in the present moment. Hence why I prefer to say self-development. No matter how you word it, it's all the same, but mentally I want you to be able to release the idea that you are not good enough as you are.

The second type of content that stands out to me is the need to form routines or craft a specific moment in your day for a specific result. The truth we seem to forget (or ignore) is that 1 person's routine is not going to work for everyone. 

Examples of this look like:
"3 things you need to add to your morning routine"
"5 Foods I eat to stay lean" 

As a former nutrition coach this drove me crazy. I'd see people fall into a failure mindset because the diet of an 100lb influencer didn't work for them. That's where the gap starts to grow. When we seek information out of desperation and we forget that we are simply different. We have different bodies, minds, and genetics. We try to adapt our lifestyle to fit into someone else's routine and then wonder why it doesn't work.

The third type of content goes back into the mental aspect of self-development. Any content that speaks of becoming your highest self, most authentic self, or best self, gives the impression that self-development is finite. 

The truth is, or my truth is, that self-development is not about working out more, meditating, crafting the perfect routines, or becoming your highest self...it's believing that you already are your highest self.

There is no ultimate, best version of yourself, there's only your best self in this present moment. With that mindset, the routines and healthy habits come as a result of believing that you can do them. When you believe you are capable and worthy of living the lifestyle you want, making the money you want, etc. you act in a way to achieve those things. 

The Gap

Now let's circle back to you. You have to bridge the gap by recognizing you are capable of creating your own change. Use social media to your advantage, take inspiration, but accept that you are your own person and have the power to change your ways whenever you want. 

While it's great that so many people want to share self-development content, it can easily backfire. Consuming too much of this type of content will only lead to comparison, creating the illusion that you are not good enough or developing high enough.

You don't have to change everything about your lifestyle to be happy. You just have to meet yourself where you are at. As humans our thoughts and actions develop everyday and your highest self today may not be your highest self tomorrow.